One of the most common reasons is the children. Women tend to want to keep the family together at all costs, even at the expense of our own suffering. For most, it can take quite a long time to realize that the situation we have been living in will never change, but only get worse. We want to teach our children that families stay together through thick and thin, not bail out at the first sign of trouble. Also, we want our children to have a father in their lives. All the stories about broken homes and the ill effects it has on children can be daunting and to think of our own children in such turmoil is a sure deterrent to keep us in the abusive household. But in return, we are doing that...showing them a life of turmoil and abuse. The mind's of young children are impressionable, and they learn what they see.
Another reason we stay is financial. Often times, a woman in an abusive relationship is controlled. She may not have a job or feel she does not have the skills to support herself and the children by herself. That's when a support system is extremely important. If at all possible, work with family members and friends to come up with a plan to watch the children if necessary while working or attending school. Network with other single parents to trade off watching each others children. You would be amazed at the help everyone needs and building yourself a reliable support network is well worth it. Heck, you may even make some new great friends in the process.
Staying is the easy solution, Leaving may be the hardest decision you will ever make. But if you are in an abusive relationship and you can imagine your life in a brilliant way, it is time to start planning and building that network of support. Those thoughts of a better life are there for a reason and they are pushing you ever so gently to make that change.
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