Children Have Eyes and Ears Too

For too many children, home is a place of conflict among grown-ups. Sometimes children get caught up in the violence and are physically harmed. Other times, children are emotionally scarred by witnessing domestic violence.  It is extremely difficult, if not impossible, to hide domestic violence from children.  They do have eyes and ears that function as well as our own.  And the impact of domestic violence can have a lasting impact on their young lives forever and even carry over into their own relationships.


Looking back now as an adult, the effects domestic violence had on one of my best childhood friend, was everlasting.  My friend also had other siblings - three sisters and two brothers affected as well.  They lived with domestic violence for almost twelve years before their parents divorced, most of their childhood.  My friend (I'll refer to her as Jane), was the oldest of the siblings, and developed low self-esteem, began using various drugs, and lead a life of self-destruction.  I have not seen her in about 25 years, but I hear there is still disconnection with her entire family.  And her brother, who is still close to my family to this day, is a father himself now and has taken great strides to be everything his father was not.  He still has anger and resentment but has channeled it in a way to not disrupt his own family.  Domestic violence can rip through a family, shredding its every fiber.  There is no way to hide it indefinitely. 

The effects on children are not always visible. Children who are exposed to battering and screaming become fearful and anxious, always feeling on guard.  They sit and wait for the next event to occur.  There is a constant worry for themselves, their parents and other siblings. Many times children will keep the family secret, looking fine to the outside world while living in their own fear and chaos.  Domestic violence is a vicious cycle and trickles down to the youngest member of the family.  Remember...children have eyes and ears too.